kinda random, but the last sentence " 50% accurate" doesn't sound right. maybe if you say it is "partially accurate." because in essays it sometimes it sounds better to use words that represent parts and fractions.

I was tought never to actually say "in conclusion". its an understood thing. :)

In the second paragraph where you were commenting on Count Mole’s remarks you should have injected the at least a portion of the quote you were commenting on or the entire quote. To give reference or validity to your statement. Ummm, also I like numbering the Documents to allow the reviewer or reader to know which document I got the quote from, that’s just a preference though. Never, ever say “in conclusion” and your concluding sentence needs to be changed. It just seems wrong. Overall it was good though!

I agree with Terah, I think numbering the documents and injecting quotes is the most efficient way to get your point across.

Mr bailey was saying that if you are at a lost and at the end that you wouldn't get docked for saying in conclusion...i think that rule is more of an english ppl thing...but iono for sure

i was taught to never say in conclusion. but i dont know what else you would use in place of that

You all should number the documents so they know exactly which ones you used.